In the article "Masks" by Lucy Grealy, the author allows the reader into her world behind the mask she wore for many years as a child. She loved Halloween because it gave her freedom to be herself when no one could see her scarred face, yet she felt guilty for her happiness derived from a situation that was not her everyday reality. She finds herself judging others who complain about their circumstances when they have so much to be thankful for in their lives. Then she is humbled by the fact that she wishes she were in their situation when she has a lot to be thankful for also.
I think everyone has a facade they carry around with them behind their backs, ready to put them on at any given moment. It is a defense mechanism that is rarely disarmed because we all feel we have to protect ourselves from the cruel outside world and the persecuting thoughts in our own minds. I don't think it characterizes someone as being "fake" just because they use different facades with different audiences. My boyfriend and I always joke about how when we were younger our moms could be yelling at us for something, but when the phone would ring they would answer it as if everything was grand. That is only natural though, it wasn't the fault of the person on the other end of the line so why should they be yelled at also.
Writing is that way too, the indignant letter I wrote to my calculus professor to contest my grade severely contrasts the silly notes I leave for my boyfriend sometimes. It would be inappropriate for me to carry my tone in either style over to the other. Although, sometimes I think I over analyze my audience and assume they will take my tone more serious or offensive then it sounds in reality. For example, when I wrote my post today about diversity, I deleted about a paragraph out of fear of the rebuttal I would receive. In other words, I put up a mask of political correctness because I don't know my audience and I didn't feel like I had enough concrete evidence to make a strong point the way I wanted to. I wish I could write no holds barred; just raw and out there, but there's something inside of me that can't quite let go. I can't bring myself to throw away the mask protecting feelings.
